There's a Reason Why It's Called "The Dating Game" | PairedLife
Find out if your date is playing the dating game & keeping it cool. Well, it might help to first figure out which side the players are on in this big game of done with playing games, and you just want to be honest with the next person you date . Women are the ones who taught men how to play the dating game in the first place. So, feel good about it. Why do these dating games people. I hope I'm not alone in thinking that people should spend more time actually communicating and less time searching for what emoji looks most.
She waits to see if he calls back. When he does, the ebb and flow of the conversation continues the game. Finally, she accepts his invitation for diner and a movie. A bother playing hard to get? She, like most women and men, enjoy the chase, but there is more to the game. When someone appears aloof, they become a challenge to the opposite sex creating a mystery that makes him or her more appealing.
On the other hand, women often use hard to get to discover just how interested her pursuer is. If he caves with little effort, she sees him as a wimp and moves on.
- Playing Hard To Get | Dating ‘The Rules’ Vs ‘The Game’
- Why playing games with your love interest gets you nowhere
- Playing Games In Relationships
While the game may work to screen prospective suitors or as a way to discover the sincerity of the man, if it continues too long, the game playing technique fails. A woman who constantly sidesteps not allowing her pursuer to capture her in any way will lose his interest. He will move on and she will begin the game anew with someone else. Read My Mind Games Women are often accused of expecting men to read their minds.
A quick sample of the read my mind game goes like this: How about staying in and ordering pizza? Couples who live together often place unrealistic expectations on the other. There is no way anyone can know what the other is thinking, unless thoughts become words.
A woman who is on a power trip may head out for the evening, dressed in a sexy, low-cut dress. Upon meeting a guy, she sees his eyes linger on her cleavage. Females often engage in flirtatious, teasing behavior in order to validate their desirability.
She may demand control of all situations making her less vulnerable. A couple heads out for an evening of dinner and dancing. This femme fatale had no intention of having sex when the couple arrived home. Instead of making love, she immediately goes to sleep leaving him wondering.The Dating Game of Hot & Cold; Decoding the Phases and Patterns — Susan Winter
For example, a man meets a lovely woman at a party of a mutual friend. The two strike up a lively conversation and hit it off.
He asks for her number, she gives it to him, and then goes home and waits. He refuses to call too soon and look too eager, so he waits at least three days before calling to invite her to dinner. A married man who removes his wedding ring while on a business trip is playing a deceitful game with every woman he flirts with.
This is a dangerous relationship mind game with high stakes. The double talk mind game of men goes something like this. After dating for several months, you want to take the relationship to the next level.
Was he just telling you what he thinks you want to hear, was he sincere and changed his mind, or was it just another mind game to keep stringing you along? Games People Play Everyone plays games, although many are ashamed to admit it.
Can we please just stop playing dating games?
Early in the relationship, each person is attempting to read the other and decide if this is a real possibility. Being able to navigate the dating scene, marriage, and relationships requires savvy perception.
If you're playing games with your love interest, you have to own up to the fact that knowing and loving the other person isn't your main motivation. Your main motivation is proving something to yourself; it's trying to make up for the fact that you're ashamed or insecure. You're creating your own unhappiness Shutterstock If you're stuck in this cycle of playing games with people, you're not only hurting others but you're continually damaging yourself.
You're never going to have a lasting or fulfilling relationship because you're too busy fabricating and plotting. Your true feelings and desires will never get to see the light of day because you're giving your time and effort to a false act. Playing games pushes your love interest further away and it ultimately also pushes you further away from your true self. So not only will you not get the person you're chasing after, but you'll also end up feeling worse about yourself in the long run.
When all you're dealing with is superficialities, you're missing out on giving your life and your relationships meaning. You're wasting time Shutterstock Every moment you take to play your game detracts from time that could be spent building something valuable and real.
Every time you deceive for the temporary feeling of success, you're cheating yourself out of lasting and genuine happiness. Unfortunately, it looks like a lot of people these days are wasting their time. According to Lindsey Cummins, CEO of Winq a social polling app for millennials59 percent of the app's users "admit that they're guilty of playing mind games in relationships.
As it turns out, though, people are also pretty divided on what kind of effect playing mind games has on relationships. Cummins said that "48 percent think that playing mind games with your love interest will get you nowhere while the other 52 percent actually think it can get you somewhere. When you think about it, that's a huge societal problem. At the very best, people are confused about whether they should be honest in relationships. At worst, they think that being deceitful and manipulative is the standard for a relationship.
Speaking to this issue directly, Donadio urges, "We need to get back to integrity and authenticity in our society. When we're left in the dark about something, we yearn to know more.
When someone makes themselves less available, we want to spend more time with them. While this is all true, there is a big difference between doing these things purposefully and being an individual. Maintaining individuality in a relationship is healthy and important for both you and your partner. However, a person who purposefully leaves another in the dark is intentionally being disingenuous and crafty. No matter how long you're in a relationship with someone, you won't ever know everything about them because we're all always changing and evolving.
That's what keeps a relationship interesting. If you're trying to be mysterious or unavailable to make yourself more wanted or seem more attractive, you'll end up pushing your love interest away.
Why playing games in dating gets you nowhere
There will always be a loser Shutterstock Games have rules, the most important of which is that by the end of the game there is a loser. In the case of playing mind games, there are two losers. For one, the person that you're toying with will be hurt.
However, they'll eventually recover and move on. The biggest loser in a relationship or a potential relationship is the one who initiates the game. Another relationship expert and coach, Jessica Elizabeth Opert, reinforced Donadio's assessment that playing mind games "is a clear sign of low self worth. The person that you played will move on, but you will be in the same emotionally stunted place you were when you first started out. You also aren't good relationship material.
Building and maintaining relationships is hard work and if you start off with an illusive foundation you're doomed from the get-go. As Donadio said, "If you're going to play mind games in terms of how you represent yourself, that is immediately going to backfire.
The truth always comes out. You'll want to give the other person the attention and the care they deserve and you won't have the desire to play games. But if you're immature and your main priority is feeling like you've won something or like you're competing for victory, you're planting a giant red flag in the ground that will eventually signal everyone away.
Be brave Shutterstock If you really are tired of playing games and finally want to find a love that is real, you're going to have to be brave.
That means being honest every step of the way and being forthright about your feelings, your expectations, and your weaknesses.